Today I learned a lesson about trusting God. When my son was a toddler—I would pry him from my leg, kiss him goodbye, and promise to pick him up in a few hours from daycare. I was never concerned about leaving my son at daycare—he was in a place that was safe, loving and filled with childhood discoveries! As I would drive off, the last glance at the daycare window revealed two small hands pressed against the window and a face that was obviously very upset that I left. It was so hard to continue driving off…and there were times when I would stop the car, run back into daycare, pick up my son, and back home we went. Of course, he was never going to learn to trust that I still existed as mom; even when I wasn’t present with him. The daycare teachers would console him by telling him, “Mom and dad, ALWAYS come back.” They offered him many hugs and a lot of lap-time too.

Today, I felt like my son must have felt. My day started fast and furious, getting the boys off to school, saying goodbye to my husband, and then heading out for appointments. After my appointments, I returned home to a quiet, empty house. “Okay Lord, where were we?” I waited for a “feeling” that God was present, but I didn’t feel Him. I called out for Him to show up…but nothing. I didn’t feel God. I spent most the afternoon crying because I thought I had done something wrong because God didn’t seem near. I prayed and sought sins to confess. I promised Him that if I did something wrong that I wouldn’t do it again! Oh no! I started getting anxious that God wasn’t there. Obviously upset, I knelt and cried, “Lord, I know You haven’t left me because You said You would never leave or forsake me.” I reminded Him of His Word, which said, that He is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. But why couldn’t I feel Him? I sat down and started to read my Bible…I searched for scriptures that reminded me that God would never leave me. I reminded God of how much my life depended on Him. Then I read Hebrews 11:1, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Then, I felt God saying to me, that He’s been with me all day long! He helped me to know that He’s not just a feeling; rather He’s sure and confident. He let me know that I could and must continue to pray, study, and worship Him…even when I don’t feel Him. And, yes, I’m smiling now because my Father was with me today even though I didn’t feel His presence!

We must continue to obey what God has taught us in His Word, in spite of not feeling Him at times. Just as my son had to trust that I would always come back for him. I had to learn to trust that God is present even when I don’t feel Him.   A lesson on trusting that God is always with us, no matter what it feels like or what we’re going through.

Deuteronomy 31:6

Psalm 34:18

Psalm 42:1-4

Hebrews 11:1